Dyrah, ♥queen. so high yet so fly

Ive decided that im gonna be my own heroine.

2012-01-29T15:45:00.000+08:00

Heyy guys ^^

Nowdays i think everything has been like a routine.
The routine of going to school everyday. Really boring.

Aside from school, theres nothing much to look forward to actually. Ohwell.

Im just glad that this sem is coming to an end, only because of the sickening modules.

Theres so much work to be done, but i of course still make time to blog.

Cause.. anyway i think, theres just more to life than being over-stressed over these kinda things.

I mean, i will get all the stuff done okay.

I just dont like it when people keep re-emphasizing stuff. Keep repeating it to the whole world. 0.0

Just saying of course, not referring to anyone at all.

And of course, more to life than idk.. thinking bout relationships & all.

Its okay to be alone, just that of course it gets lonely, this is what so many people relate to.

I think theres just so much other stuff to look forward to in life,

Appreciate all the small things that we have,

and also, trying out new stuff whenever possible.

I think i think like is because of the fact that my type of person is more to easy-going. So yeah.

I could go back to doing all the assignments and whatever stuff needed to be done..

Or...

I could go chill one corner like youtubing,tumblr-ing,tetris-ing,watching shows...

Hmmmmmm. Okay i should balance it out. ):

Look at the bright side: Semester gonna end! ^_^

For Syahid Durian♥

2012-01-29T12:53:00.002+08:00

Hi syidah!

Happy 20th birthdaaaay! ♥

Wish you all the best in life & stay happy always ^^

~~Since i have nothing to do, why not write a post?..~~

Okay no, bedek ah so many things to do! just so lazy. hehe

See you on sunday okay. We have banana just for you.

Yes we are so sweet cause we fulfill your craving. Woooooooo

HAHAHAHA YES. Old pic. 2009 memories.

I cant believe i look like that. =/ Tsktsk.

2011 pic.

Haha look at the difference. Wow.

But not as wow as from secondary school. That one is not blog-able. :/

♥♥diy♥♥

I wish i can murder my own thoughts that keep coming back to me, every single freaking day

2012-01-27T13:22:00.005+08:00

Another lowest point.
For H, If only you could understand me,

You say you do, but i dont think you do fully.

In fact, actually no one does.

Gong Xi Fa Cai to all my Chinese friends! ★★

2012-01-23T13:38:00.003+08:00

★★Feathers & Leopard Prints ★★

Happy chinese new year to all my chinese friends!

May you guys have a fun celebration & collect as many angbao's as you can.Take care all.

I wish there were more long holidays like this. But okay, about 2 more weeks (?) to endure then we are done for the term!

Well not really lah, theres UT3. 0____0

Oh, and i finally managed to change my blogskin! After how long of procrastinating!

However i still cant put my archieves and all. I pressed something i remember a long time ago & now.. idk where it went. But anyway, with this blogskin you guys can just press "older" for older posts.
Productive day today. i think.

*Pat on the back*

I wonder if anyone thinks about me when they can't fall asleep at night.

2012-01-22T17:12:00.003+08:00

Wohoooo! <3 Finally got one of this.

& Yaaaaay duit aku da habes beli bende2 ni sumer (....)

Okaaaay, so on saturdaaay, Zu & i went out, <3

actually we had a plan in mind, but in the end, the plan didnt really go to well. So sighh.

But its okayy, next time we would do it.

Went town first, window shopped and and had our lunch!

The pic above. we spent about 17 altogether! Super ex. But it was nice. Wooo

& after which rushed like hell to cthall, to jubilee hall at raffles hotel!

Where we watch this one ichestnuts show.

Superr funny i like! But certain parts i dont understand cause

wo bu shi hua ren, wo shi malai ren (?)

HAHA OK IDK THE SPELLING.

But yeaaa i only understand chinese abit onlyy. :P

Ok afterwhich, caught in the rain but thankgod she had umbrella.

and we spent the remaining time at cityhall!

Window shopped and shop alittle only.

And yeaaa so broke as hell. -.-

Anybody got a job to recommend? Formspring me or smthg. Haa.

Anyway home at almost 9 i think?

And watched incredible tales. Which i got nightmare and woke me up early morning.

Le sighhhhh.

Anyway, how lucky am i to have a sister who treat me happy meal? Woooooo

I got the snowboarder kitty. Add on to my kitty and toy collection,

Yeahhhh i still act like a small kid. Who cares ^_____^

Good day everyone! ^^

"Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself."

2012-01-21T23:27:00.009+08:00

Okay, my hair looks nice in this pic idk why. Haha

Savour the moment as my hair rarely looks nice. So i action awhile okay. Haha

Okay.. so this day after school, Wendy & I went to far east and i accompany her buy her cny clothes.

If i were to celebrate i will look forward to buying new clothes. ^^

Anywayy, gonna miss her when she is off for intership in sem1 ! ):

It was only just a dream.

2012-01-20T22:19:00.003+08:00

A video my team made for one of the modules we are taking.

Still room for improvement, but i think we did our best.

Fun yet tiring.

Anywayy, so gonna enjoy this super long weekend! <3

Finally time to breathe!

Although.. it sucks to feel broke. Urghhhhhhh >:/

I think.. its time to find a job.

Oh i am luvin your company.

You are so cute please.
Still can merajok when i say my msn crash when u talk to me. Heheh.

& Forever with your jb and all, you should buy me chewing gum one day okaaay?!

Wishful thinking.

2012-01-15T23:31:00.005+08:00

I think, this song is gonna be the major highlight of mine and alot of other people's nights nowadays.

N o s l e e p t o n i g h t.

This weeek will be hectic, PD submissions, UTs!!, assignments & so many other nonsense.

This is non-inclusive of worrying about hair, skin, what to wear/eat, stress about school stuff etc etc

15 days into 2012 and everyone is stressing here and there about studies.

URGH. THIS IS MADNESSSSSSSSS.

But whatever it is.. i will still make time to update my blog. <3

Goodnight everyone ♥♥

"You know, Im getting sick of missing people, who doesn't miss me back"

2012-01-14T20:48:00.003+08:00

So..

This is what my sis took a pic of for me when she went to SPCA.

Omg how adorable can these cats be?

I want to go SPCA one day.

Rock your body comeon everybody,

2012-01-13T20:52:00.001+08:00

Singing & dancing all the stress and worries away...

Chey nolah.

I would if i could though.

I come to realize that he's just a guy, a special one maybe, but he's not mine

2012-01-12T23:57:00.001+08:00

If only

I miss watching skins! ):

New season please?

2012-01-11T12:29:00.000+08:00

'Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we're standing there alone.'

For all girls out there, this is for you ♥♥

2012-01-08T16:12:00.003+08:00

RP Open House 2012 #idiscover.

2012-01-07T15:57:00.004+08:00

Yayyyyy were done with this years open house!

Such a fun but really superr tiring experience.

At the end of both days that we did, (5th&6th Jan) everyone just slept in the bus like a log otw home.

Anyway, i made a few new found friends. Haha

Ouh we are logistics team! Not cheer. (My landyard) Lol?

Wrongly typed.

Anywayyy, it really involves working out like carrying goodie bags all around the schoool.

But i had more fun on the 2nd day, cause i did registration which involves giving them goodie bags, scanning their ezlink cards.

And us girls, ahd alot of fun looking at.. ehem cute boys. *___*
Hhahaha theyre so young, it was just for the fun of it!
One of my friends even talked to them at the registraion. I had a gooood time laughing. =p

And of course, theres always those nonsense kinda guys who will try to be funny giving theyre cards cause they want goodie bags.

Its funny but kinda annoying as well! Haha

One even admit to an incharge he did it because got pretty girl

Like.. -______- Cmon, you can do better than that boy.

Anyway, i didnt regret joining cause, yeah its all experience and oh yeah i got the goodie bag!
*dances around*
And also for the points! Yeahhhhhhhh. Im almost gonna complete. Woooo. Then can go concentrate on all the other important stuff needed to be done. #Busybusy!

Gonna hang this landyard in my room!

Okay, time to youtube!
Also, gonna try complete some Graphic design stuffs this weekend. Hopefully..

Keep your heels, head, and standards high.

2012-01-06T14:58:00.003+08:00

Okay, i think ive not been giving alot of attention to my blog. Busy with alot of things =x

School has been school.

Gotta endure another.. idk how many more weeks.
Theres still UT after this sem ends. URGH.

Oh and, sad news for me, i kinda figured out alot of friends are going for internship first.

Im doing FYP first, then internship. Hais.

Oh well. Im not really looking forward. Its gonna be really hectic & Stressful.

People still have not been recognizing me with my current hair.

Trololol.

Anyway im not satisfied with my hair,

because lets face it. My hair is not going to be straight. #confessions of a wavy haired girl.

Forever curl at the end there. Le sighhhh.

My face is so annoyinggggg.
Okay have a good day.

New year, New look

2012-01-04T15:45:00.002+08:00

Gotta thank this bitch of mine for accompanying me do my hairr.

Since he wanted to help with the colour as well.

I think that my hair colour isnt obvious, since many people dont really realize it.

I think in the future, gonna highlight a more obvious colour?

Well, we'll see how.

I have recently joined the broke team. Urghh sucks being broke. I need to work! ):

mmmmmmmmm ♥ this

Haha please dont mind our annoying face.

We look like we need a slap on our faces. Wahhaa.

I miss this hair of mine from these pictures because now, its already curled up. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Back to school tomorrow ):

2012-01-02T22:54:00.004+08:00

I want more holidays! Urghh.

I am super not ready for school.

Okay on a brighter note, 5 more weeks to the end of the sem!

Cant wait, to escape really shitty modules. urghhh. Get it over and done with!

& yeahh, i have a different hairstyle,

New look for a new year i guess.

These are just pics taken from OH training.

My latest hairstyle is the same just that its browner now ;)

Ouhh and i have decided that.. for 2012, im not making any resolutions,

cause i realise that i dont follow every years resolution i make. =____=

I will just hope things will be better for me this year, waaay better.

And people, 2012 is not the end of the world. -.-

Maybe its just the beginning of the end? Idk.

& In terms of having someone,

I think i want to just be alone for now.

I remembered telling someone that if i have to go through more of all this, getting too attached to people, etc etc,

Im just gonna get a heart attack.

Saket jantung.

So yeahhhh.

Goodnight everyone. xx

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run better run outrun my gun

2012-01-01T15:24:00.001+08:00

Thanks again wendy. ^_^

New years eve with them <3

Fun overall. The prawning part was seriously bimbotic i swear =P
Its okay la we can try doing this another time, with experience this time.

Then to lau pa sat for dinner. Ate till super full, then walked around raffles place,

went back to pasir ris, walked to ehub, chilled at coffebean before heading home.

Lets try to countdown this year okay! I think we all want to right??! We'll think of something okayy. Hehe <3

No proper 4 of us pic!

Sighhh.

Anw, credits to syidah and sep of course. :D

Hmmmm Its okay we'll be meeting each other veryy soooon! (;

End of month i think ^_^

2011.

2011-12-31T23:00:00.003+08:00

Im not summing up 2011, im just stating down what i been through, my thoughts on it and well.. other stuff.

Okay, honestly,

2011 just was not my year.

I think i been through alot this year and it has taken its toll on me, and thankfully,

i made it through and im still alive, continuing with my life and welcoming a brand new year.

I think 2011 has taught me so many things. Where do i even begin?

Apart from meeting new people, new friends that i can trust and talk and just have a good time with,

i also made some relationships with certain people kinda downhill.

I lost contact with some, made new friends, had a few eye candys hehe, and also made some relationships better.

Im thankful for everyone that i still keep in contact with, and of course all my bestfriends that i can count on and we still have a good time together, laughing, catching up and having a good time. You guys know who you are ♥ ♥

Okay so, i learnt that well, i dont know how to put this...

I cant control how i want my life to be, i cant control how things should go.

Maybe, in the first place i was just thinking of myself, and i dont think about other people.

And i think you are gonna laugh at me but i learnt that it is possible to actually love someone so much.

Well before this i dont think i have ever cared for anyone as much as i cared for ______.

So people, if you have been reading my blog and wondered why i cant move on is because of this.

Anyway i am and have been moving on but its just hard. Let me just state this clearly.

And well, ive been living with all these for i think half a year already.
Honestly i have never felt so sad before in my life. There was this one point of time where i think i almost became depressed cause ... idk i just could not take it.

No one could help me, only i can help myself.

I cried myself to sleep everynight and sometimes at random timing like in the bus or just when im alone.

I found myself just staring and zoning out, totally no mood.

So then, of course there were times where everything was fine, but there were also times where everythings a mess.

I guess its because i dont want to lose the friendship that we have, because i dont think all this is worth it.

And i think that because i care too much.

I think there were times where i just felt like giving up, live in denial etc etc

I didnt deserve all this do i?

Its like waking up and then dying for hmm idk 3 to 4 months. Im surprise im still alive.

It took me quite a few times to reassure myself that everything would be fine.

I have let go for a very long time seriously.

Just that there are times when everything comes back to me. Really fcked up feeling.

But as for now,

Im letting go of all my hearts baggage.

With the help of everyone around me, people who care about me and can count on,

i can do it. I know i can.

2012, i hope you will be good to me, and let me feel happy at least.

I want to be the girl that i was before ALL OF THIS happened.

And to think i that our friendship was this close to being gone,

were getting better and hopefully it'll stay that way.

The only thing that bothers me is if i feel that youre lying or even say things just to not make me sad.

Being honest is the best.

So what if it kills me?

Arent you like half a year too late if you want to save me from being more upset?

Friends dont lie to each other. They be there for one another.

I hope none of this ever repeats, and even if were not exactly like we were before,

we would be okay and still be there at the end of the day.

If you really cared in the first place too,

you would also want us to be like before as well. We are better off like that anyway, you think so,

i think so too.

But all in all, with the new year coming up, im letting it all these bad/hurtful memories go and looking forward to better things this 2012 (:

So yeah, i hope that kinds of sums up everything that is the more prominent in 2011.

Im much much better now as compared to last few months,

so yeah. I have faith, especially in the one above.

^__^

I hope 2012 would be as awesome for you who is reading this (:

Have fun welcoming the new year and take good care of yourselves.

Meowww~

Xoxo, dyrah.

If loving you burned calories, i'll be a supermodel.

2011-12-30T22:16:00.007+08:00

2011 is coming to an end.

I can say that it wasnt a smooth sailing ride but if you all follow my blog,

well its kind of an upsetting year.
But im looking forward to better things now.

I smell 2012.

I can only hope for a better year, things would get better and i will feel happier.

Im gonna write up a so called 'summary' about everything, and well. Learn from the many things i learnt this year and im gonna live my life a stronger, better person.

I have a new hairstyle now anyway. Damn, people couldnt recognise me whatsmore. LOL much??

And yeahhhh, after a very longgg time... FOLLOW ME OKAY? :D
I will follow back^^

Follow @dyrahhh

My arms and legs are once again, aching.

I think by the time im done with openhouse2012 i'll be sexierrrr.
.... Okay nooo but its like workout the way we are assigned to do stuff and all. Hais.

Boy i got a B H D, i got a masters in boyology

2011-12-28T01:01:00.007+08:00

Superbly awesome!
<3

And btw people...

I wanted to cut my hair shoulder length..

But.. idk whats wrong with the hair dresser, and now my hair is short.

No kidding.

No picture for now, but oh well.

I hope i dont look too horrible. D:

Oh well, its like a new year, new hair. ?

Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we’re standing there alone.'

2011-12-27T18:04:00.005+08:00

How cool would it be to have a twin?

If you guys havent sub to them yet, do it nowwwww!

Theyre awesome and i can never stop laughing watching their vids <3

Another of my subsriptions, is Jenna Marbles.
Shes too funny.

Okay wait its like she has the whole package. Her videos make sense too.

I would feel really lucky if i was her man.

Anw check out her other videos tooo !

Anyway, i suddenly have this feeling..

that i need more holidays.

SIGH.

i wish i can be the kind of girl that is hard to forget.

2011-12-26T14:03:00.002+08:00

All of them, are xmas treats and goodies me and my siblings got <3

Family gathering on xmas dayyy.

A day well spent, catching up and all.

But i just feel guilty.. Like i should not be eating so much junk and all=/

And,

i just got to know that my uncle&cousin went to hongkong disneyland

and.. he asked me that i shoud have told him what i wanted.

Damnn, i didnt know that they left. They got my 2 other cousin stuffs.

Disneyland. I think thats my mini heaven.

All the mickey and minnie they could have bought for me.

awwwwwwwwwwwww maaaaaaaaaaaaan! ):

Haha oh well, its just not meant to be i guess.

Some things.. are just never meant to be yours. =p

Ohh and i spent my day with these girls today.

Mostly spent at the airport.

And also thanks for accompanying me as well at tampines.
<3 <3

Not just you - Cody simpson #now playing

2011-12-25T12:13:00.004+08:00

<a href="http://www.formspring.me/dyrahhh">http://www.formspring.me/dyrahhh</a>

So.. after almost 2 years,

i have decided to revive my formspring.

Haha so you can ask questions, comments or just anything <3

And maybe... just maybe get to know who really reads my blog .

Cause i get random surprises from people saying stuff from my blog. =p

Wendy whatsapp me this yesterday evening.

Hehe thanks its so cute!

I'm insecure, but I'm strong. I'm alone, but I'm loved. I'm sad, but I smile. I'm broken, but you'll never know.

2011-12-24T20:00:00.000+08:00

Anywayyy, Happy christmas to those celebrating it.

Damn if only i celebrate it,..

presents come to me baybeh! ^^

Oh btwww readers, help me click on the nuffnag ads okay?

And do the survey tooo. Hehhe

xoxo

Don't take things for granted,better start cherishing it before you realized that they're gone

2011-12-24T14:53:00.000+08:00

If you ever leave me, leave some morphine at my door

2011-12-24T14:50:00.002+08:00

Hes too awesome, <3 all his songs

Kuching, Sarawak

2011-12-23T22:42:00.003+08:00

My short holiday at kuching, quite a memorable one and at least i get to destress.

Hmm i think most of the pics are alot of my camwhoring :P
Annnndd i also took some videos, just for fun, and some silly doesnt really make sense ones. 0_0

If only everyday was holiday, life would be much less stressful.

Please forgive my laziness as i will just put all the pics in this slideshow.

And also my smelly face in some of the pics.

FYI people, i put captions, theyre suppose to tell a story, but somehow,

the pics are from ending to beginning.

So you can laugh at me.. =/

OR,

if you want to see the full view,

http://s688.photobucket.com/albums/vv244/dyrah31/SARAWAK%20TRIP%202011/?albumview=slideshow

And heres the links to my vids,

I would go back here someday if given the chance (;

Ohhh btw,

i miss a whole lot of people right now! ):

Including you, yes. you.

Sometimes i think im over him, but whenever i dream about him i know im not. Because of how i feel in the dream.

2011-12-22T14:34:00.001+08:00

Back to reality. Sigh

2011-12-21T23:52:00.002+08:00

Currently editing pictures and also videos i took during my trip!
Ouh i do have souveniers for my close friends as well, its cute hehe :P
Will be doing a proper update sooon!
xx.

HOLIDAAAAY^^

2011-12-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

Off to Sarawak for about 3 days.
Im so looking forward to this. Destressssss <3

Take care readers

Rp Open House 2012 Training.

2011-12-17T16:10:00.005+08:00

16.12.2011

Yeaaah, me & zu <3 finallyy decided to go for the first training as we signed up for the Openhouse.
It was a hell of a tiring day as were part of the logistics team.
I cant believe we had to pack like 10 000 goodie bags!
But i think that this year's bag is nice.. SO COME TO RP OKAY? :D

Okay i dont think i have readers coming in to poly next year. Lol.

Soo.. the packing was effing tiring.
My arms and legs are aching like hell now )):
How to go holidays like this! D:

Anyway, we left at 6plus, so i think by then its only how many thousand..
I have no clue how theyre gonna finish packing 10 000. Maybe the second round of training they're gonna finish it up?

Hmm the morning part was abit ridiculous but fun as well.

"My reason i signed up for this.. is because.. I need points uh."

LOL.

And i think.. my team is gonna remember me as the STA girl who run like dowant to run..
(STA girl lari malas malas)

Yeahhhhh, i seriously didnt wanna run. :P

Ice breaking games which requires running = not my thing. :D

Anywayyy, im not gonna be joining them for the second part of the training which is on the 19th as i will be at sarawak then (;

See you OH people on the 30th!

Zu <3

Took this before heading home.. Trust me, before this there were sooo many people all busy packing.

Messyyyyyy~

They look like penguins from afar. But the bag is nice really (:

My masterpiece. Cheyy.
Okay i mostly arranged these magazines neatly as everyone kept piling on top and they kept falling. Lol.

I was so tempted to take one home! >:/

Otw home near W2 building?

I still get fascinated by the picture quality as its freaking clear. Lol.

Sis was so nice to buy these.

Super nice!

Ive yet to try Phish food though 0___0

Okayy,

Im flying off tmrw and ive yet to pack anything!

*Lazy mode*

In another life i would make you stay so i dont have to say you were the one that got away

2011-12-16T20:53:00.001+08:00

I need a new blogskin.

I need to revamp this blog of mine =x

I need to shop <3

I need a holidaaaaayyyy!

I need to eat healthier

I need to exercise more

I need to be more independent on others for a lot of things.

I need to change

But more importantly,

I need to find a way to stop being so sad all the time.

Lessons learnt, bridges burnt to the ground

2011-12-16T20:02:00.000+08:00

Finally time to b r e a t h e .

2011-12-15T20:21:00.006+08:00

Last few days left of school before today,

not really in the mood, i couldnt care less about alot of things plus my daily grades,

cause im just too lazy and want the holidays already. Heheh.

Eventhough its a short one, i dont mind at least i get to relaaaxxxxxx.

Yaaaaayyy, and i cant wait to go to sarawak!
Im going kucing sarawak with my family and relatives on the 18th <3

"It's not the truth that hurts, it's the lies you said before it."

Ohh and i have not made my twitter(yet),

but i want to share this twitter with you guys, for those who dont know her.

http://twitter.com/GirlConfession_

Totally true & relatable. <3

&& also,

Breaking dawn was kinda coool.

And funny as well.

I cant wait to watch the second part! ^___^

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! :DD

Hi samsung galaxy (;

2011-12-12T20:15:00.003+08:00

Annoying fish face (Y)

Off to schooool. Last weeek of school before HOLIDAYSSSS.

Im kinda glad that i got what i wanted. Heheh.
Now i can use internet wherever and so far this is something that i own that has a good quality camera. Woooooo.

I just gotta be more careful and not drop it especially since its really slim and light.

Ohh, and i have not been using makeup as in the foundation concealor and anything anymore.

Its been hard but i want to make my skin better as its i think destroying my skin s l o w l y. =/

Its been hard i swear, i hate looking into the mirror ):
But im adjusting.

My skin will get better in the long run, hopefully <3

Its time for a c h a n g e .

2011-12-11T21:40:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, there comes a point in life whereby you got tired of trying so hard. Cause no matter how hard you try, the outcome is still the same. & the only option left is to give up.. Well, giving up doesn't always means you're weak, it can also mean you're strong enough to let go of something you really2 like and matured enough to know that certain things are not meant to be yours.

I am gonna make a change.

Especially for me, cause i realized.. i have been in the wrong as well.

I have to stop being so selfish and not just think of myself.

I think this is why i get those kind of looks from ______ because i should have acted like that in the first place.

Whatever happens i will accept it and im going with the flow already

its up to you to believe what you see or think

I want to be the person that i used to be. Hell, i dont even know how the hell i ended up like this.

Well i know but i miss how i was before all this.

Lets just be like how everything was before all this nonsense happened.

I think its better when i think about it all back.

Heart beats fast colours & promises

2011-12-10T01:51:00.003+08:00

Its 1:51 am right now.
I felt sleepy before this, but then when i try to close my eyes, i just cant sleep.

Its like my mind is forcing me to stay awake,

when i really should be sleeping.

Im tired, im exhausted , i need to sleep, but i just cant.

Maybe its my feeling of sadness that keeps overwhelming me.
I really hope this would go. Maybe its because of this that is keeping me awake.

I hate it when this happens, its like a million thoughts screaming in my head, i cant seem to let go of these negative thoughts.

I dont know why this is happening.
I dont know whats really going on.
I still care for you, why is this happening?
What wrong have i ever done to anyone, that i deserve to go through all this?

I dont deserve this, but i have this feeling of sadness that is always in me, its almost depressing.

For the past how many months since everything went downhill actually.

But this is just life,

I can forsee the future, its not gonna be easier, its gonna get tougher.

Everyone is moving on in life, except me.

This sucks.

How do you know care?

How do you let go of any negativity that gets to you?

If only there's the off switch in my heart

And an off switch in my mind too.

Sigh.

Too bad for me, i have to endure 1 more week of school.

I still have shits to complete,

then i can FINALLY TAKE A BREATHER during holidays <3

Right now, so much to do, so little time.

If you have read my post,

give yourself a pat on the back for reading it all the way till this word.

For now, i shall try and sleeep.
And hope that things would get better for me too *wishful thinking*

Some girls don't realize what they're worth, and some guys don't realize what they have.

2011-12-09T20:34:00.004+08:00

Whats happening? What did i do?
Please dont hide it from me cause i know you well enough to know somethings up.
You know that i will be there for you.
Friends don't do this to each other, where are you even nowadays?

Darling don't be afraid.

2011-12-08T01:42:00.003+08:00

This is such a beautiful song.
I can and have been listening to this song everyday, its like a lullaby.
I think anyone is able to relate to this.

& im watching this soooon too!

Cant wait!

I have died everyday waiting for you Darlin' don't be afraid I have loved you for a Thousand years I'll love you for a Thousand more

Truth: I still care. Why is all these happening? ):

2011-12-07T20:31:00.001+08:00

Have you ever laid on your bed at night, and just cried? Cried because you’re ugly. Because you’re not good enough. You counted all your flaws from head to toe, to punish and feel worse about yourself. Cried because the comments people blurt out, actually hurt your feelings. You don’t want to be a burden, so you bottled it all up. Around people, you’re the happiest ray of sun shine. But nobody knows, that at night when you’re alone, you break down and just cry

2011-12-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

‎"I always think about all the things I want to say to you. Like, I actually plan it out. In my head. But then i see you, nothing comes out. I never tell you, and I wonder if you'll ever know half the things i think."

The worst feeling is pretending you don't care about something, when really it's all you seem to think about.

2011-12-03T20:40:00.000+08:00

Haha okay, another overdued image to be uploaded.

This was when we went for the museum trip for CME module i think?

Walked all over bugis after were done with the trip, had so much laughs.

I swear my classmates for this semester, theres so many hilarious people.

I can laugh a whole day with them. <3

And thankgod, cause school would be so dreadful w/o laughs, especially now when everything is so stressful! Tskk.

As of right now, so many deadlines approaching. -_-

I cant wait for 16th, last day before holidays.

I really need a break!

There's this girl and she's reading this quote right now. She's beautiful, but she doesn't believe it.

2011-12-02T22:00:00.001+08:00

An overdued update!

I swear this sem is really busy, so many things to do so little time!

>:/

IM SO STRESSSSS.

This was on a saturday, and i cant believe i wokeup early to watch this rehearsal concert, a band i think. :P

Its so unlike me, and so unlike us actually. Me, mira and the day i met another farah. Haha.

I think we spent most of the time laughing and after the break in between, we started playing games on our i-products. =p

And afterwhich, met dearest sis for lunch, we bought somestuff and then headed home, sorry i didnt want to watch a movie! I was just really tired.

Ohh at this point of time, my face was really super shitty as you can see! ):

Im glad now its better. Phew.

Manhanttan fish market with sis! <3

We had FIsh&chips dory.

Cant wait for the next time were heading out. I want to shop more!

*Greedy mode*

Devastated.

2011-12-01T23:48:00.002+08:00

What do i even write here?

I just posted a post hoping things would be alright, but what happens now?

Straightaway.
Maybe i shouldnt have seen that. i saw something i dont think i shouldve saw. And now im gonna be affected like hell.

Seriouslyyy.

This sucks.
Idk why im even penning down all these here..

Whats the point..

.....

Im not prepared for this. At all.

No moood totally.

I cant believe this year is coming to an end already.

2011-12-01T19:39:00.003+08:00

I an reallly looking forward to better days.

Sighhh.

As of right now, everything is so stressful. Zzzzzzzz. Cant wait for a break!

& i hope something would turn out fine.

Well, actually..... i hope for alot of things.

Sighhhhhh

2011-11-29T19:29:00.001+08:00

): x (1 million)

Why must all these happen now?

Am i not supposed to care?
How do you not care?

Talk about feeling really like a mess inside, its like literally a mess. Both actually.

I actually teared up thinking about all these just now.

I'll slowly find a way, so that everything would turn out fine..

And the night before as well, its just so disappointing.
It makes me think that everything you've told me before? lies.
I do believe in some things, but there are certain things i dont believe you.

My gut feelings told me its not true.
Sorry boy

I really x 1 million hope things would get better. Hais...

Tired of being tired.

2011-11-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

"Being human is the most terrible loneliness in the universe"

2011-11-25T23:56:00.004+08:00

I think this is like my current song. lol.

Im glad the weekends are here,

but i can feel the pressure from so many things and its all getting to me. Urghh.

Its like, the uts are kinda hard, and sometimes i wanna giveup, but sometimes, i think about my gpa and feel worried and seem to find a need to buck up.

ZzzzzZzzzz.

And do any of you guys know how your future would be like?
I always wonder how mine would turn out..

Right now, from what i can think of, i haven't really decided on what to do after my poly life.

Would i get what i want to achieve? Do i feel like i accomplish anything? Would i get the job i want?

So many things to think about, so mnay things to consider..
Sighhh.

Why must life be so hard?

Tskkk.
And this is only on studies, not even touching on other things in life.

I smell of chocolate truffle.

2011-11-24T21:30:00.000+08:00

Yeahhhh (Y)

I finally used this mask, well not cause i dont want to but due to certain skin conditions.

I was kinda disappointed cause i thought the mask would be dark coloured or something, but its the usual white. Hahah im such an ass.

But the smell was really tempting!

I still smell of chocolate, =p

So yeah, a very unglamorous mini webcam session, feat my sis.

But anyway the whole point of this is to show that i have used this mask!

So wendy if you see this, yaaay i have used it woo hoo!

Hi SAAAAAM,

2011-11-22T23:00:00.004+08:00

(Pasted it on my hp.. before i would change to a new one. *Looks at state of hp* Tskktskkkkkk!)

Soo yeahh, we went to S.A.M twice,

and i took these pics during the 2nd one since it was individual work.

Ohh the gallery theres an M18 one, and i think its more to wow than feeling inspired..

For those over 18, you can take a visit and take a look for yourself and you would know what im refering to..

But ya i would spare the details here cause i dont think everyone is interested in art.

But i do think apart from work stuff, i did have some fun cause to me, this class has many funny2 people and i had lots of laughters with em.

And oh there are some pics taken but its not in my camera but everyone else's. Lol.

Many unglam ones anyway :P

The second trip was fun as me and some of us, which is dayah nana zal & farhana went shopping at bugis. Looking at clothes, the undergarment , magazine layout for assignment -.- , food & much much more.. (But i didnt spend cause i think i would overspend or smthg =/ )
I can swear i laughed alot, they are a bunch of funny people. xD

Hopefully there'll be more outing to come!

Okay, i should most probably go to sleep as theres class tmrw...

Or maybe not yet :P Hehehe

Take care guys, and i should blog more ^^

School is draining alll my energy! >:/

2011-11-21T22:30:00.000+08:00

2011-11-19T18:30:00.000+08:00

I need a hug. Just a hug, nothing more, nothing less. A hug where someone wraps their arms tight around me and tells me everything's gonna be okay so for a moment it doesn't feel like I'm about to snap from everything. A hug where I don't feel so lost and alone and that someone will be there for me no matter what happens. Just a hug.

Im not lonely pills.

2011-11-19T17:00:00.000+08:00

OMG CAN I HAVE ONE OF EACH PLS? *___*

Its like sometimes i wanna call you but i know you wont be there

2011-11-16T22:45:00.005+08:00

I want that cat! Heheh.

Which one do you find cuter? The cat or the baby? :P

Anywayyyy, my assignment is killing me, i dont even feel like completing them. Hais.

And i cant believe my class and i, or rather the whole DNM batch are goin to S.A.M. Twice.

0.0

Im so tired alreaddddyyy when can i take a breather?

& So many things going on nowadays,(May be positive/NEGATIVE), i cant really be bothered about half the things happening/happened. -_-

Sighhh.

2011-11-15T22:52:00.000+08:00

‎The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them

2011-11-12T23:11:00.001+08:00

I will never get bored of this show.

I think i cried watching this. )':

I know theres this one reason as to why i cant seem to let go.

I know i have no right or deserve to feel or be like this at all.

But because of this reason, i will always have this sadness in me that wont go away...

I only hope things would get better for me, and hope certain people would understand.

2011-11-12T22:00:00.001+08:00

‎"A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other.. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever."

11.11.11

2011-11-11T23:52:00.002+08:00

So on 11.11.11, the date which is cool and doesn't come around very often,

my day didn't really went so well. -_-

But on a brighter note, i can finally breathe and rest during the wkends before i have to face reality again.

If only life was so much easier, or i can just shut out all the emotions that i dont want to feel.

Idk why so many things keep coming back to me, all that i dont want to feel or think anymore.
And i told myself im not gonna lie to myself anymore.

Sometimes I think.... if anyone were to truly "read" my heart,
all that i feel,think,wrote,did,said,
you'd be in tears.

Especially you.

Cough can you please go away? Its annoying & It hurts like hell

2011-11-09T21:44:00.002+08:00

9th November
2011
09

Worst feeling in life

Being told someone is better than you.
Knowing that you’re being lied to.
Letting yourself be beat down.
Crying hard.
Losing someone close.
Watching yourself fade away.
Falling apart because you’re alone.
Not being good enough
Being told that she’s prettier.
Being mad at someone because you’re mad at yourself.
Falling out of love.
Being used.
Being made fun of.
Changing for someone else.
Realizing that he doesn’t love you.

I'm a strong person but every now and then, I would like someone to grab my hand and say everything will be alright.

2011-11-08T21:25:00.002+08:00

Hiimissyou so much i have no idea why...

You know that feeling.. when you have no right to feel jealous or upset or whatever, but you dont have any right to?

Yeah that feeling.

Im sucha loser .zzzzzz.

&& i want to get well sooon.
Been coughing like an ass for the past 1 week already and my throat is damn pain i cant take it.

Sighhhhhh.
Even my sleep is not enjoyable ):

Okay back to work! >:/

Stress is the word nowadays...

Okay brb die-ing in progress. ^^

Birthday Bash, Sarpino's Pizza, ScienceCentre, Tiring long walks, dinner = My belated 19th with them ♥♥♥

2011-11-06T22:02:00.006+08:00

Yeahh i have sum-ed up the tittle of what happened yesterday. Heheh.

It was fun but seriously tiring & somewhat frustrating (cos of my stomache), that at one point i got kinda no-moood. =/
But overall i still had fun,

And yeah i have already checked my present from them, and i took some pics as well.

The packaging is really cool.

So at first it was some kind of tech stuff.. those comp stuff, 0.0 HAHA! and i checked it again, and ohh, its an eye-makeup pallete. Hahah.

But the packaging is coool thou :P

Anywayyyyyyyyyyy

Thankssss for making my belated a 19th a fun & memorable one ♥♥♥ :* Hehe

Okay, i dont know why all the pics are jumbled up and i dont know how to move tham around. Tsk.

But its okayy, cause im tired already. heh.

Credits to sep & syidah for the pics! <3

Love each and everyone of you veryyy much ♥ ♥

Ohh & selamat hari raya haji (: Eventhough i dont really make such a big deal out of today. Haha :P

But i think today was okay, so much nice and fattening food. Standard. #PBG.

&& got some bday money from relatives as well. Hehehe

Okayyy Goodnight all.

My 19th ^__^ ♥♥♥

2011-11-04T00:41:00.019+08:00

Okayyy, i swear schooool nowadays is reallly stressful and everything is just so.. tiring.

I come home everyday and i have so much shits to do, and i get sleepy, and i cant even find the time to update):

I have quite some pics to share here from my 19th bdae.

Anywayyy i really appreciated all those who wished me be it through any form, fb, text, msn, in person <3 Heheh.
And also im really touched by all those who gave me presents because i think theyre all too cute& pretty =p

Anywayyy Im also going to meet my usual people on saturdaaay and i cant wait ^_^

Im actually still really tired, but oh well, after hari raya haji on sunday, i can FINALLY take a breather, after 1 whole week of busyness.

2 days off,

i still have ALOT OF STUFF TO DO)):

Proposal, have to think of ideas and also assignment on graphic design.
And i 2 uts this weeeek. Thankgod the next round of ut is 2 weeks from now. I can die anytime sooon.

But its okayyy cause i think there is time.

Urgh i feel like im really missing out on ALOT of stuff. *sniff*

So here are the picturessss.!

MY BDAY CELEBRATION WITH FAMILY.

@pizzahut changi airport <3

Mmmmmmmmmm.

All the deliciouss fooodie. omnomnom.

Alot of bad quality images taken =/ yikesss

I was just bored sorrrayyee.

Presents from sisters& mum ^__^

I am catwoman for the dayyyyy =p

Alot of random pics takenn as well~ <3

Hearts for all those who made my 19th a special one (;

Ouhh, & i received these lovely presents 2 days at school after 31st oct..

Everything they've given me <3

Thankyouu wendy for this ^__^

Its beauty masks btw.

Ohh and the way u surprised me is super epic! Haha i wont forget that.

The bear on the bag is damn cute! Heh.

And im suppose to take a photo and show you guys once i use it. Hehe so stay tuned for that =p
Ohhh wendy if you reading this, you so busy nowadays?!Ahhh When we gonna meet ? Meowww.

Thankyouu zuaidah for the present, <3

i really love the cookie-lollipop! Super adorable i swear =p Heheh

The design on the cookie is custom-made!

This is what we can say, "hidop mati STA" HAHAH

Ohh and also the forever21 vouchers! Thankyoou has for this as well (;

love you girlssss

*when to go shopping ehhhh?Heheh So busyyy nowadays.. Tskk.

&&& also, Thankyou Mira & ain! <3

I was so shocked when i saw my face on the pinkbday card.

& cheyyy cover girl uh ^__^

for a day la eh. Hehhehe.
A realllyy old pic of me, but yeahhh the design is super nice. Damn coool as well.

This one also can say "hidop mati STA' !

&& in the minitbits box is a pretty bracelet.

<3 you girls alottttt.

OKAY IM DONE WITH ALL THE PICS I HAVE.

IM SO GLAD I MANAGED TO FINALLY POST THEM ALL.

&IM VERY HAPPY WITH ALL I RECEIVED =P

Ohh and i think one more person i should thank is you,

thanks for your wish, but more imptly how u dealt with everything, or rather we.
and we are much better than how many months back, i can swear

& idk why i felt kinda glad from that text that night.

Maybe its because it felt different and i was just reminded of how we are supposed to be.
Hehehe. <3

My last teen year,

a good celebration. (:

I wish for more happy days to come ^^

Goodnight lovelies.

Last teen year

2011-10-31T23:52:00.002+08:00

My 19th birthdaay todaaaay <3

I have quite afew things to share here

im quite tired & sleepy plus there is school tomorrow. Sighhhhhhh

So i shall update pretty sooooon!

Thanks all that wished me! Love you people veryy muchhhhh <3

Who says?

2011-10-30T22:46:00.002+08:00

Okay so, as you can see i put one of the halloween props that i brought(look at below's post) on my dressingtable mirror.
Im not gonna be wearing it around, obviously. hahah so i found a place to put it. i also made use of the smaller bag, and as for the cat ears, ill just wait for an occasion to wear it again. =p

Anywayyyy, i would like to thank my sis for spending today with me. <3

After soo long we managed to go out, even though it wasn't really our day, i think it was worth it.And were gonna head out again and, sooon i hope. ^^ & we both have plans on what to do with our hair. Hahahaa. I hope i wont regret what i would be doing :P

Ohhh and a certain incident happen which i think is tooo embarassing to be shared here, happened just now.

My sis said that was my bimbo moment.

-_____-

Sighhhh. Well i cant argue actually cause i know im not smart so yeahhhhh. LOL.

Only 1 thing i can say... it is something that's got to do with me failing maths.

*cover face*

Okayy, gdluck for whatever remaining exams you have sis!

Andddd, i cant believe im turning a year older in afew hours time. *_*

Okayy Gdnight sugars♥

Hi i cannot wait to go to the zoo. :P

2011-10-29T23:30:00.001+08:00

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him."I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged Him and said, "And you never will."Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?""All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special.I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,yet gentle enough to give comfort.I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.""You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

From Facebook.

What am i supposed to say when im all choked up and youre okay?

2011-10-28T23:51:00.005+08:00

Seasons come & go

But i will never change~

I recently saw a friend's youtube channel

and omg she did some covers which to me is really awesome.
But im not gonna share it here though =x

But these 2 songs i discovered are pretty goood.

Damn if only i had an awesome voice. Tsk.

2011-10-28T23:00:00.000+08:00

“I stay up just late enough until I am just exhausted enough that I can fall into my bed and sink into immediate slumber. Because I can’t stand lying in a bed in a dark room alone with just my thoughts for so many hours and hours.” - Tumblr Reblog.

If you knew what you mean to me, i think you would be too lost for words, trust me.

2011-10-27T23:30:00.001+08:00

(old pic)

So... my 19th birthday would be coming in just a few days time.

My last teen year.
Oh my, i dont know whether to be happy or sad. Haha :P

And yeahh i think a number of my friends have been like hinting to me about it coming up. Or joking bout it. Hahah.

but seriously i dont know whether i should look forward or not.?

I only know its monday, so no schoool = wakeup late hehe ^^

If you guys have been reading my blog,

well, things havent been the best for me.

In fact, i just kinda passed through what i can say the "lowest point" for me.

Cause honestly, if you have never been in my place you wont really know how i feel. So yeah.

But i think things are better now. Im still alive and dealing with alot of stuff so.. *shrugs shoulders*

And few days back also i shared some stuff with a friend and it all came back to me again,

theres nothing left for me to do now honestly.

Just pray to god to make me stronger in everything i do.
And well, yeahh im right, im not the only one who feeels this way. This person i share it with feels the same. And well, i know theres millions.

If only i can find the right words to say to also tell her everything would be okay, and one day we would all be happy and this feeling no more.

But thats the problem with me you see.

I can never find the right words to say.
Everything comes out a mess.

And this is one of the reasons why i feel this way now.

This is why im always so hard on myself.

Ouhh and in the first place my blog is for me to write all these things down,

because i cant do so in reality, imma just screw everything up and feel even worse.

So this is my place to vent i guess.

And after so much thinking, i think.. its best not to regret.

I d o n t r e g r e t a n y t h in g.

i just wish i dont have this feeling right now.

I still remember i would be in tears saying or typing this how many months ago. But right now im not.
Cause im surviving.
And i only pray things would get better.

I should go to sleeep sooon,

i <3 sleep cause thats when i dont overthink and all.
Gdnight readerss♥♥

Freezing cold in class now.

2011-10-25T16:18:00.000+08:00

‎'Don't be sad if Allah separates you from something or someone you love, if only we knew what His plans were for us, our heart would melt with warmth of His love.'

♥ Subhan'Allah ♥

Before i sleeep,

2011-10-21T23:23:00.003+08:00

So yeah before i sleep, im just gonna do a short post.

I dont know why, is it just me but i feel tired most of the time. Sighh.
& like everything is stressing. School.. sighh i want to drop modules please -.-

And i been telling people that i dont have high expectations this sem. For certain module.

And im sticking to this.
Today itself was kinda a disaster but, yeah as bestfriend says, its fridayy, so cant stress. Heheh just gonna let it go already.
Im looking forward for this long weekend of mine. But at the same time, i still have to keep in mind of my assignment.
5 designs based on a given theme. Due on thursday.
Sighh. This is what happens when its already year2 sem 2. All the stress starts coming in.

Plus i definitely need more more sleeep.

I really think life is like a rollercoaster, everyday is something new, everyday is different and we should expect the unexpected too.

Okay im gonna go faint on my bed later on. *___*

Take care all ^^

2011-10-21T23:15:00.000+08:00

Me wants a kittyyyy ):

Cho cuteee please.

Oh hello weeeekends !

2011-10-21T23:14:00.001+08:00

Missing someone gets easier every day, because even though it’s one day further from the last time you saw each other, it’s also one day closer to the next time you will.

I know that there are millions, i cant be the only one.

2011-10-18T22:44:00.004+08:00

Somehow, i think i should appreciate today more. Its been awhile i kinda forgot how it was.

I found todayy more fun and i guess i found out what i've been missing out on.
Well, i never really lost it..i just forgot what it was like.

T h a n k s alot,
All the laughs,sharing,teasing & more. I think the funniest part is the busride.(Theres always sooo many bus stories)
Dammmn making fun of how you sleep is the best i swear, :-P hahaha
Anywayyy, i hope this would be the starting of better days to come.
I really hope so.

Goodnight all. xoxo.
Im soo tired =/

Sometimes I wish I can close my heart from all the emotions I dont want to feel.

2011-10-17T20:04:00.006+08:00

So... today i realised that i am a halloween baby but i DONT own anything that is..related to halloweeen. :P Joke of the year or what?
So, met wendy today, since i dont have schoool today (weeeeeeeee) & she ends at 12.

Had our lunch at wendy's at yishun

went out to sembawang area where we went to daiso and that where i bought halloween stuffs!

Its like its my bday already. Hahhaha ok no.

I wanted to buy this like storage wooden box but i think its kinda dirty and i already have so many storage nonsense.
Instead i bought this hat, a small bag and my fav, cat ears <3 Hehehhee.

Pics are all below,

I LIVE LIKE A CAT TODAY. (Y)

& i swear alota ppl were looking cause yeah i was wearing my cat ears and all, but ohwell.

Im just having fun ~

All photos are credits to instagram's effects ^^

TGIF♥

2011-10-14T22:00:00.001+08:00

Weekends! Yaaaayyyyyyyy.

Im so t i r e d.

Hello, hello, anybody out there?

2011-10-14T21:50:00.000+08:00

Such a meaningful song that expresses so much. I dont think i will ever get bored of this.
How can anyone dislike this?

Sometimes when i close my eyes i pretend im alright, but its never enough..

Even when im walking on a wire, even when i set myself on fire

2011-10-12T22:58:00.002+08:00

So, school has been schoool. Im surviving that is.

I think, i look forward mostly to the part where im not..studying, which is more to breaks and catching up with friends or learning new things about people who recently came into my life. Heheh.
But i still have to keep in mind about studies and that i have to put in 101% no matter how tired or how difficult things get ):

Anyway thankfully im recovering already, im just waiting for my voice to be back to normal :P

And.. im waiting for the better days to come.

I do admit at times i feel kinda down? Sigh.

But yes, things will eventually get better.

Sometimes i wonder if im the only one who feels like this.

But when i think again, i know theres sooo manyy others who feel the same way i do.

And have you guys ever thought of how things always happen for a reason?

I always think about it.
I guess so many things are yet to be discovered. Oh well.

Sometimes i think god wants me to feel this way because..
most probably i had taken things for granted,
and that i just dont deserve what i want.
God took away so many things which meant a whole lot to me and i have to learn to survive without em.

But more importantly, I leave so many things now mostly to the great one above. Keeping faith#

2011-10-12T22:50:00.000+08:00

Gdnight all^^
This would be me in... 2 hours most probably?

Heheh its cute. today's lesson brought me here.
If i could adopt a pet from the SPCA, it would definitely be a kitty ♥♥♥

I'll have you know im scared to death

2011-10-09T19:55:00.004+08:00

Hi guys,
I think my mood now kinda matches the gloomy weather nowadays.

Its always raining. Plus its scarier when im outside and the sky is so dark and all.
Okay i managed to pull myself of my bed just now. Im so tired of lying in bed almost the whole day.

Sunday and im sick. Flu + cough + headache +massive amount of pain on my body. Tskk.
Ive taken so much medicines already. Sighh. ):

Well i actually wanted to update about schoool.
Its only been three days and i can already feel the tiredness. Not goood i think.
But so far i think eventhough timetable is good to me, 2 9.15 classes and 2 12.30 classes, 4 modules only this sem, the RJ Sucks like hell.

I been writing crap and complaining to some of my friends about how sucky it is. Sighhhh.

I Really hope i can manage though :/

The only bright side for now is that, i have no class tmrw, i can rest more and thank god for that.

Ohh & i received like a totally advanced bdae present from someone as well. Thankyouuu so muchhh hehe. Its from bangkok and i was surprised. And as said from one of my friends, she say if it is being kept early later it will be dusty right? Hahahha funny & true :P

Anyway idk why my sleeping schedule is like, totally (...) It reminds me of the hell phase i kinda went through the earlier parts of holidays.

Fell asleep infrnt of lappy at idk 12 or 1 plus? Awake in the middle of th night at 4 plus. A million thoughts running through my mind for an hour plus and falling back to sleep at 5 plus i think? Wokeup awhile at 6 plus. Then going back to sleep and wakeup in the morning.
For today i wokeup in the morning with a massive headache i can die. =/

Dammmnnn i really hope this gonna happen ystd only, i cant afford to be in this annoying state everyday. Urghhhhh.

Anyway, i will update more when i feel better.

Enjoy the rest of weekend or holiday and happy schooling peeople ♥

Take care & stay healthy ^^ (unlike my state now ): )

No matter how much I try to laugh and smile on the outside, It always kills me in the inside to think about it.

2011-10-04T22:00:00.005+08:00

Everyday im trying my best to be strong, trying my best to forget about u, trying my best to not think about u. Its hella tought believe me especially when i so manyyy things remind me of you. And u do enter my dreams . i don't know if its good or bad. ):

What do each of these dreams even mean? Sigh.

Tmrw is a new semester. A fresh new start.

New modules, facis and classmates.
I really hope everything would be fine.

Gdnight readers^^

Sometimes I wish I can close my heart from all the emotions I dont want to feel.

2011-10-03T22:35:00.005+08:00

I never thought that i can still feel this weak & vulnerable at times where everything just gets to me.

I feel like i need someone to give me a big hug & to tell me everything will be okay.

TOWN WITH ♥'S ^^

2011-10-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

Met sep&syidah today, and we planned to shop at town today,

but sadly, we didnt get to buy a thing. ):

I was looking forward but i guess there was nothing that caught my eye. Plus i was tired i think half the time. Idk whats wrong with me. 0.0

Instead we spend more than 1hour at fish&co at orchard ion, and it was so fulling.

Chilled at ws macs before heading home at 9 plus?

And i realised something funny which is each check-in with them is at mac.

Tmrw also breakfast at macs ^_^

Forever at mac.. Hahaha idk why its just funny for me.

I think people who see my fb profile will think im like a perangai budak gemok #PBG. (!)

Oh well.~

I think today was pretty good apart from nil items bought cause of the catching up & stuff.

Plus 1 random video, mostly on syidah playing game on itouch heh.

xx.

Ehh schoool gonna start, im not ready! How ))):

Its october already?? YAAAY ^^

2011-10-01T23:00:00.001+08:00

PLEASE BE, i cant wait for the last day of october HEHE

& i realise holidays make me fatter! zzzzzzz

today was fun, i will update real sooon, <3 im so tired now gdnite! xx

Rise early for the first time this holiday

2011-09-29T21:29:00.002+08:00

The first pic got some retarded shots. *__*

Yeah the tittle says it all. I cant believe i wokeup so early and meet her hehe <3

Since we never had breakfast together, metup early at orchard and had a full bk breakfast.
And shopped as well, quite happy with what i bought.
I think we walked almost the whole town. The only downpart was not getting the colour shoe that i wanted, but its okay. I cant wait for my bday where i'll get moneyyyy hehe. And can go shopping spree. i hope :P
Anywayy since we met early, i went home quite early. Metup with her sis&bf otw back to east side. They went off at tamp and i headed back to pasirris.

Another day well spent, finally got to meet her after idk.. quite long.? Heh.

seeyou when school reopens <3

I hate those moments right before you go to sleep where you are forced to think about all the things you try so hard to forget.

2011-09-27T21:25:00.007+08:00

Class schedules are out! Ahhhhh.

Somehow i dont feel ready to go back to schoool>.<

Just next week it will be back to being busy but mostly tired all the time. Sighhh.

Okayy at least, theres some friends that i know so i wont be alone on the first day. heh.

But i got shocked cause i realize one of my faci's actually taught me before.

And im kinda nervous! Urghh. The module i heard is tough. Ahhh sucks much. -.-

And i have certain modules which starts ard 12plus? Something new for me.

Ohh, and i really want this sem to be okay for me. There would be fun times also i hope. No more bullshits.

From people mostly, im sick dealing with alot of bullshit already. Urgh.

Ohhh and i have difficulty sleeping nowadays. Its not a good thing. Zzzzz.

I have to get my body clock working back to normal already. 0.0

And i realize nowadays im feeling-less. (?) Like not caring so much about stuff.

I think.. its better.

Even my dreams are less nightmare-ish. Hmmm.

Maybe im starting to feel okay about letting go. All my hearts baggage and whatnot.

The best part i guess is feeling okay about it? I hope it will last.

ps: Dear eyes, please please get well sooooon! D:

Overdue-ed.

2011-09-27T20:00:00.000+08:00

Well, if you read my post on first day of raya, i mentioned that i have family photo taken but its with my uncle.

And so he already developed it. So i will just share it here.

Actually the quality is superr nice! (Y) Swear.

But oh well im using itouch only. Pathetic quality.

And i no scanner summore. Tskk. So yeahh.

From left to right>

all the photos of all families from my mom's side. Not complete thou >.<

followed by my dear parents

And the family photo <3

xoxo

take care readers (;

I like people who actually put in effort into talking to me.

2011-09-25T22:04:00.004+08:00

Hi ! I cut my hair as you can see. Its shorter now.

I like it when after the haircut and the hair dresser actually made my hair nice, but then after shower it will just look like.. back to normal.

And oh, i was thinking to soft reborn my hair =/

Been thinking really long cause i dowant to regret. But i have to find a proper place also and consider the price. Heh.

I act like I don't care, but deep inside, it hurts

2011-09-23T21:00:00.005+08:00

Okayy hi! So.. today everyone is so noisy about their results & gpa's.

Thankgod for me, i did managed to pass everything, and im happy about it cause it includes drawing which i just made it through, but whatever. Im not going to retake that damn module ever. -__-

And as for my gpa, well i think its about the same as my year 1 gpa. Just a slight decrease by 0.2 ):

But still, im glad cause it could've been worse.

But for me i think that, whatever gpa and results that you get, you should be thankful for it and not complain and all. I mean, you can just motivate yourself and say that you would do better next sem.

I dont get it where some people are not happy with their gpa and they complain and all on facebook. and mostly on twitter, i can confirm plus chop eventhough i dont have 1. Hahaaaaaa

I just dont get it. Like, dont exaggerate can anot? =P

For now, im nervous for class shedule. =/

This happens to every rp student every sem. Tskktskk. Hope for the best okay people!

Night^^

Can we ?

Just this hollowed out feeling.

2011-09-20T22:17:00.006+08:00

Im sick & tired of always feeling upset or lost or idk what other feelings..

I have decided to let go for a very long time already.. Just that at times it all just comes back and hit me in the face.
Its gonna take time for me to just shake everything off.
If only you could just realise things & dont push people away. But nevermind it doesnt matter anyway,
But all i can say is.. Sometimes, i just feel like taking the whole startover to another level which is going back.

2 0 1 0.
I would do everything all over again.

Only difference will be well, me.

Keeping faith.

2011-09-19T23:47:00.015+08:00

Okayy first off, i realised tonight.. kinda alot of things happened which is.. not good? =/
I myself feel.. well i dont really know.

Anyway i hope my bestfwen is alrite ):
You still have me okay! if that helps. =p
But I know she will, people just need time.
But its okay, cause we girls all strong motherfckers muahahahhaa.

All the bullshitss we go through. Tskkkkkk.

Anywayyyy after so long and keep changing of dates , i finally get to meet wendy today <3

Thanks for today eventhough i know ure tired.
^_^

Final destination.. woahhh. gross as expected..
And i keep closing my eyes with my fingers for certain parts.. >.<

Hehe but its fun and worth it cause i been watching the previous ones.

And i ate alot today. Damn. holidays suck only cause i feel fatter. Zzzzzz.

Okayyy i actually got another date tmrw but its been changed to friday.

Okay so.. PRESENTING MY PHOTOBOOTH SESSION! :P

While waiting for wendy to get ready..

My face is just.. retarded nyehehe.

our lunch at bk! :D

Donuts & drinks at j.co as we chilled there awhile..

FAIL SHOT. the stuffing in my blueberry donut. (Y) awesome..

its amazing how people can say ive lost weight and look skinnier than before, when all i feel is just heavyness, fat, walking blob and such. Tskkkk -_-

OKAYYY PIC OF THE DAAY!

HEHE we look cute in this pic. :P

hahaha, i love this app on my itouch, so cool can edit2 pics just like neoprint.

and speaking of which we gonna take neoprint next time ! must!

I know you will read this wendy hehee <3

Okayy i am tired actually.. gdnight all^^

Everything im running away from is all in my head.

2011-09-17T21:34:00.004+08:00

Hi i have lost my blogging touch =/

Idk why i just dont have the mood to blog and all. damn.

And ohh, i am the perfect example of why i should not get happy,

okay wait i wasnt even that happy as from my previous post. Just a little.

i guess thats just temporary. Well the part about me & her is still perfect, but i dont feel it for the different scenario though. Cause all i see now is just... literally (.....)

Life really is like a roller coaster. Pfft.
But hey i always tell myself things would get better everyday. I really hope so. Sigh

JalanRayaWithSec5's on 15thsep

2011-09-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

Okay lets update on jalan raya.

Let me say that honestly before even a day before the 15th i really thought and was confident that i wont join cause.. idk everything is like not planned properly? So yeah i only confirmed like the night before 0.0

So yeah from fatin's house, to sep's house, to syidah's, to sue's, to lat's and finally, atiqah's.

6 houses in total.
The whole thing was okay2 for me, but i do think that the more the merrier?
So i hope that next year more would come?

Ohh and i reached home few mins after midnight and well what can i say, i dont think my mom was tooo happy. Maybe she was just sleepy cause she stayed up. Honestly i prefer she doesnt. Im not being rude but seriously i dont like coming home to people with not happy faces -.- zzzz plus the fact that my youngest sis made a hell lot of mess in our room. Sheeesh..

All the pics i "stole". ahaha : credits to fatin syidah & lat ^^

In the process of getting ready.. I toook some pics. *__*

No more raya-ing for me till next year i suppose. Ok bye.

46588.) I hate being away from you.

2011-09-13T22:26:00.004+08:00

(leftover pic from one of the days raya visiting)

Hi guys, after so many days of feeling down or having those depressed feelings(?),

i feel idk happier than usual.

(Eventhough i kinda fell outside and grazed my knee and my jeans got hole -.- fcked up much?)

Cause i and someone, a dear friend of mine actually,

are okayy and i can confirm plus guarantee it. I literally felt awwwhhhh when i read the reply and i couldnt stop smiling when i read it...

I like the feeling that everythings gonna be okay.

And for once, i feel as if i dont have to try so hard to make things okay, because honestly.. im sick of it.

For once i felt as if everythings falling in place and this good thing happened to me without me trying. Sometimes being patient helps.

And also i do believe in second chances, although, its not for everyone..

Luv&miss you more sabby. Youre 18 alrrrrrrr!! Hehheeh

PS: I also love the fact that the both of us are starting over.

I just feel lost when being apart from people who mean alot to you. Its been months anyway..

It just scars me and i hate these negative feelings idk why.
And to whoever that reads this, please dont judge or have any negative thoughts maybe thinking im weak or whatsoever,

cause honestly,certain people dont know half the shit that i been through.

Okay goodnight ^^

Sometimes when I'm alone i pretend that I'm a queen, It's almost believable.

2011-09-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

Even when I'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible?
Everyday I try to look my best
Even though inside I'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible?

The worst feeling is pretending you don't care about something, when really it's all you seem to think about.

2011-09-11T23:53:00.004+08:00

I did this as a result of boredom.

And yes i know the picture quality sucks,

what to do, its just using my webcam. ._.

Ohh currently im watching skins, idk for me, its just totally relatable, the things i go through and all, its like you are in the persons shoes, all the shit that happens, they feel what you feel.
I like effy btw ^^ (Y) Still at season 4 though.
Ohh and ive yet to watch jersey shores latest season where they go to italy baybeh. Heh.

Anyway.. ive been feeling, and thinking(alot) that somethings not right.

It doesnt feel right.

I can pretend for all i want, but in the end, i am not able to fool myself anymore.

What do you do when the person who you trust, share many things,stories , can talk to for hours, means alot to you is not that person anymore?
I admit, i just feel l o s t .
Alot of things just remind me of us

Its not good, i just keep zoning out and keep thinking of unpleasant things that makes me feel )';
It just doesnt feel right..

Youre not here to make me feel/assure me that everything will be okay.

Deargod,Ineedmybestfrenback. <3

"Thats the problem when getting attached to someone, when they leave you'll start to feel lost."

2011-09-09T01:00:00.004+08:00

Im wide awake late at night, playing with food.

This food has letters on it, cutecute ones :P
Ahhhhh, i think you would think im deprived.

~Killing time..

So how has holidays beeen? I hate the fact that everything planned has to be next weeek.

Everyone pushes it all next week. Am i missing out on something here?
Heheh. but seriously,

my skincentre appointment is next weeek as well. How to squeeze it all next week? Hmm i dont feel like going though.. ahhhhh cant decideeee.

I guess i really have been zoning out alot... Thats what everyone says. Cant blame me.

Im still thinking on what i should do. But i think.. i have made up my mind. I'll just wait for the right time. I still want time.

Okay this is the best translation i can get, i hope this makes sense. >.<

Ich noch für dich sorgen. Aber glaubst du wirklich für mich interessieren?

I would rather cry over the truth than smile over a lie .

2011-09-05T23:30:00.000+08:00

This movie is really entertaining . you people have to catch it (;

I think this holidays i will be watching awhole lot of movies. and shows toooo.

Vivo today, and besides catching "bad teacher" i had fun looking at cute animals and walking ard but most imptly thanks for listening to me and helping me <3

It feels really good when a friend shows concern for you when you are troubled.

You know who you are (; hehehee mwahh

anyway.. Nextup: Final destination. Wooooooooooooooo :P

I look forward to better days in september.

2011-09-04T00:49:00.004+08:00

Cause im reallllyy really tired alreadyy.

Its for you.. as you can read. Its not indirect, yup its for you.

Please do realize everything. if i could beg, i would. But nahhh as time pases by you would, if you mean what you say also.

Im only waiting and see what happens.

Thats all. Update soooon.

SALAM LEBARAN ♥

2011-08-31T21:05:00.013+08:00

Firstly i would like to start by saying this: Im so jealous scrolling down my fb newsfeed. ALL OF YOU IN UR BAJU RAYA SO DAMN PRETTY PLS.

Hahha in a good way of course ♥♥♥

First day of raya as usual, going to both sides

All the eating of the same things, the ketupat kuah lodeh sambal goreng and all the high cholestrol foods, but all yummyyyy =p
Heh and yeahhh my collection this year i can say is quite awesome :P

Reached home a little early and i can say im quite happy cos i was sooo tired.

oh & i cant believe myself

when asking for forgiveness frm my parents

when it comes to my mom, ended up she was all

"why u keep laughing...?"

I just laugh and smile. -_-

Well, its cause for me when i laugh or smile its more like im sad on the inside and im trying my best not to cry, cause if i stop i will cry. >.<

First time i felt like this idk whyy.

I did tear up but then i told myself to stop later makeup melt! HAHHHAA <3

And one of my uncle did take family photo i'll just wait for him to send us, he has DSLR, i only use my kitty itouch =p

I just wanted to show how my baju looks like :P

Heart.

siblings photo. VERY LOL i knoww

#my epic face

ending of this post with my mom's face.

Haha okay thats all. My pics are mostly random & selftake. *shrugs shoulders*
Today second day = dudok rumah besarkan pantat.

Most probably next time visiting i think its on saturday.

Enjoy your raya visiting and all.

Holidays starts alreadyyyy wooooooooooooooo.

Reminder to self: Pls pls pls dont get fatter. :/

Dyrah, ♥queen. so high yet so fly

Ive decided that im gonna be my own heroine.

For Syahid Durian♥

I wish i can murder my own thoughts that keep coming back to me, every single freaking day

Gong Xi Fa Cai to all my Chinese friends! ★★

I wonder if anyone thinks about me when they can't fall asleep at night.

"Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself."

It was only just a dream.

Wishful thinking.

"You know, Im getting sick of missing people, who doesn't miss me back"

Rock your body comeon everybody,

I come to realize that he's just a guy, a special one maybe, but he's not mine

For all girls out there, this is for you ♥♥

RP Open House 2012 #idiscover.

Keep your heels, head, and standards high.

New year, New look

Back to school tomorrow ):

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you better run better run outrun my gun

2011.

If loving you burned calories, i'll be a supermodel.

Boy i got a B H D, i got a masters in boyology

Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand on our own two feet, we’re standing there alone.'

i wish i can be the kind of girl that is hard to forget.

Not just you - Cody simpson #now playing

I'm insecure, but I'm strong. I'm alone, but I'm loved. I'm sad, but I smile. I'm broken, but you'll never know.

Don't take things for granted,better start cherishing it before you realized that they're gone

If you ever leave me, leave some morphine at my door

Kuching, Sarawak

Sometimes i think im over him, but whenever i dream about him i know im not. Because of how i feel in the dream.

Back to reality. Sigh

HOLIDAAAAY^^

Rp Open House 2012 Training.

In another life i would make you stay so i dont have to say you were the one that got away

Lessons learnt, bridges burnt to the ground

Finally time to b r e a t h e .

Hi samsung galaxy (;

Its time for a c h a n g e .

Heart beats fast colours & promises

Some girls don't realize what they're worth, and some guys don't realize what they have.

Darling don't be afraid.

Truth: I still care. Why is all these happening? ):

The worst feeling is pretending you don't care about something, when really it's all you seem to think about.

There's this girl and she's reading this quote right now. She's beautiful, but she doesn't believe it.

Devastated.

I cant believe this year is coming to an end already.

Sighhhhhh

Tired of being tired.

"Being human is the most terrible loneliness in the universe"

I smell of chocolate truffle.

Hi SAAAAAM,

Im not lonely pills.

Its like sometimes i wanna call you but i know you wont be there

‎The worst way to miss someone is﻿ to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them

11.11.11

Cough can you please go away? Its annoying & It hurts like hell

Worst feeling in life

I'm a strong person but every now and then, I would like someone to grab my hand and say everything will be alright.

Birthday Bash, Sarpino's Pizza, ScienceCentre, Tiring long walks, dinner = My belated 19th with them ♥♥♥

My 19th ^__^ ♥♥♥

Last teen year

Who says?

Hi i cannot wait to go to the zoo. :P

What am i supposed to say when im all choked up and youre okay?

If you knew what you mean to me, i think you would be too lost for words, trust me.

Freezing cold in class now.

Before i sleeep,

Oh hello weeeekends !

I know that there are millions, i cant be the only one.

Sometimes I wish I can close my heart from all the emotions I dont want to feel.

TGIF♥

Hello, hello, anybody out there?

Even when im walking on a wire, even when i set myself on fire

I'll have you know im scared to death

No matter how much I try to laugh and smile on the outside, It always kills me in the inside to think about it.

Sometimes I wish I can close my heart from all the emotions I dont want to feel.

TOWN WITH ♥'S ^^

Its october already?? YAAAY ^^

Rise early for the first time this holiday

I hate those moments right before you go to sleep where you are forced to think about all the things you try so hard to forget.

Overdue-ed.

‎The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them